I haven’t been dating but instead I have been attracting the married or otherwise “unavailable types” AGAIN….
It is beyond upsetting; I have always prided myself not getting involved in other people’s bad relationship or with the ones that have issues. These guys are putting out the vibe that they are single… but this not TRUE as they are not genuine and / or available!!!
Taking about unavailable… remember “Mr Unavailable” from the 4WD social group?
Well he must have noticed that I started my own group and had the cheek to contact me by text message enquiring after me and signing off with kisses.
I quickly shut him down, saying I was exceptionally well and asked how his family was. He relayed the news of his new born daughter and how lovely she was (remember how he insisted we meet for coffee so he could break the news to me that his “ex-girlfriend” was pregnant with his child). I wished him well, but I couldn’t help wondering as to his continued inappropriate behaviour. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Since that occasion I have changed my phone number….
Some of it started innocently enough with a bit of Facebook messaging and chat…. nothing wrong with that right. It is the equivalent of flirting in real life and if you are not sincere or have a partner then shame on you.
First there is the guy who adds me as a friend on Facebook and joins my group after we meet briefly at an event. It was clear from the start that he had no sincere interest in me other than to try and “get into bed” with me… his pitiful failed attempts were appalling and obvious.
The guy still lives with his parents and is nearly 40; he has never been married or had a serious relationship, no children and is still studying. He promptly tells me that he cannot talk to me on the phone until his parents go to sleep, as he doesn’t want to be rude and unsociable to them? But he thinks it is okay to text me late at night with intimate messages which are unwanted and inappropriate? Even though I don’t reply to his sexual banter, he continues to send them. You tell me what that is all about??
I joined a group on the social site and attended a swing dancing event where the organiser was the only other person attending. After the dance he and I had a drink and the conversation went like this:
He said: Would you date a guy that is shorter than you?
I replied: No, I wouldn’t
He said: That is why I started my group, because I had no luck on the internet dating sites (where your height is displayed). So I am using this group as a “dating tool”
I replied: So how is that working out for you?
He said: Great, I have about six women “on the go” at the moment from this group.
What do you say to that – it was astounding! A girlfriend and I wondered what the deal was with this guy as she had tried to join his group and attend the same dance; he insisted she send him a photo before allowing her to join and when she did he rejected her membership based on her picture???? Hence this is how his dating data base is monitored and collected!!!! My friend was not offended by his rejection and believed she got off lightly, happy not to be chosen.
The next guy was an unknown person who I added on my Facebook group as they were friends of friends etc…. I sent him a message as he had been very busy liking my pictures and comments; on closer examination I believed we were in similar jobs. So I message him and asked if he worked with this organisation as well. He said he did and the conversation went on from there. Innocent enough – right?
He asked me if I was single which I replied yes… I could see from his profile that he had children but was not sure whether he was in a relationship. He definitely was putting out the “single vibe”.
It turns out that he is married, but explains it was a long story… They were not happy and only stayed together for the children. He said that he felt he was too old to leave and find someone new to have children with and that they both agreed that it was the best solution. He went into detail about not having any sex and told me that he had a very high libido. The next explanation was even more interesting as he announced that they were expecting a third child in July. Oh dear… sounds like a complicated situation, but there is more!
He has taken me into his confidence as someone he can trust; as he feels that if we were to meet there would be no spark and we would just be friends. He announces to me that he has been contacting another woman on Facebook and is thinking of meeting her for the purpose of an affair (he gives details of a previous woman who he has done this with and apparently they still remain friends) He says he wants a friendship and an emotional connection with someone, along with lots of sex – which he is not getting from his marriage (wife).
I tell him that I know who the woman is that he is flirting with, as it is obvious from the interaction on Facebook between them. He denies that I know and I tell him who I suspect, at first he denies it and when pressed further he admits it is the one. I tell him that if it is obvious to me it will be obvious to others.
I am not sure of the shared confidences between “Mr unfaithful” and the “Facebook woman”; but suddenly she is in “a complicated relationship with someone” who had only joined Facebook the previous day. There was no actual picture of this male and he has only three friends which are “Facebook woman”, the “unfaithful husband” and a supposed friend of “Facebook woman”.
Something SMELLED like a dead rat here my friends… I mean really, did they think that they were clever inventing a “complicated” boyfriend for her as a smoke screen. “
My solution to these blips on my radar; is to merely steer clear of these guys. I deleted the Facebook predators and made it clear to all of them that I am not interested.
I am saving myself for someone who deserves me (and it is certainly none of these guys)… until then I am enjoying my single life.